Gym

I tried everything (not) to go to the gym. For me, the gym was where people get tortured.

“Get me a Nike shorts and I will go jogging” I said.

“Whats wrong with the shorts you have now” Wife

“I need branded ones” Me.

“No one would be watching early morning, there would be hardly anyone around” Wife.

“Early Morning? I should get up early morning?” Me

And it went on. Finally I found a new nike shorts resting on the couch.  ”For you” the note read.

With no excuses left I got up early the next day after snoozing the alarm dozen times (5 min interval) for running. It was 7AM in the morning. The air was fresh, the sky was waking up, and there was an empty road. I ran for 200 meters and was tired already. I walked another 200 meters and realized that if I go on, I goto to walk back all the way home. I jogged back home and took rest for an hour. 

“Not bad” I thought. Exercising  is cool. 

Next day. After snoozing the alarm a dozen times I got myself up for the ‘run’. The air was fresh and I was not alone. After 50 ms there were 4 dogs with me. Then there were 10. And the faster I ran, the faster they were following.

There was no way out, other than to run as fast as I could and reach home.

I escaped unhurt. I guess, they were just interested in this new fellow in their block with blue shorts and a green ipod clipped oh his t-shirt. They were having some fun.

And that was the end of the routine run (you can call it a routine after consistently doing the same thing more than once).

The wife did not allow me to sleep through the snooze sessions after a week. ‘Go to the apartment gym’ she said.

“You dont have to worry about the dogs, or your shorts”

“Why dont you go?” I challenged her.

And she did.

I got my ‘ego’ right and paid a visit to the gym, stood on the thread mill for the first time in my life. The machine roared and moved. I walked. I ran.

It a routine for me now. I learned that you can think of your work and you would run faster. You think of your manager and you would run even faster. Great way to lose stress.

I go to the gym now. Its a miracle !

Filed under: Life , gym, Life

! Blog !

Its been more than a month since I blogged. I occasionaly flip through the blogs on my blog roll but never left a comment.
Seems like I am busy with many other things !.
The kiddo is 6 month old and is keeping me busy. I spent more time with him and wifey than on the internet. I think that is nice.

Recently I read an article on TOI which said that a research(I am not sure who spent time on such research) found that people in the US spent more time on the internet than with their family. People spent more time on social networking sites, ‘networking’ read ‘browsing other profiles & photos’ than with their own family.

But I guess I should indeed find time to blog.
Keep Blogging.

Filed under: Uncategorized , Blog, Crapbook

The swipe Flu

I have been in this industry for 4 years now. I would be just another guy working in the Technolgy Services (out of  1 MM). But recently I realized I have the swipe Flu. Now what is Swipe flu?

To get more understanding of it, let’s look into a day of my life at work.

 I enter the building with the identity card worn around my neck, which dances around with each step I take. I swipe the card at the reader to open the door. I swipe the card at my department door. I swipe the card when I go out to the break out area(coffee machine area). I swipe the card at the door when I walk out of the building. I swipe the card when I go out to cafeteria.I realized that my hand automatically picks up the card and swipe it at the reader every time I see a door. I am doing this subconsciously. I do it when I am walking out of the door talking to my colleague, or when I am on the phone. I don’t even realize that I am doing it every time I open a door.

 Well I realized there is something wrong when I tried opening the lift door with my card. And when I tried opening the apartment door with my card.

 I almost lost it when I tired to open my car door with my i-card.

 I talked to a colleague of mine and he said these are symptoms of something called the swipe flu.

I wish if we would have just used a register at the reception. 

Do you have these symptoms?

Filed under: Humor, What the ????, Work ! , Crap, Humor, Swipe Flu, Work !

The great Indian Adjustment.

I was traveling by train the other day on the Lalbagh Express (Chennai – Bangalore) . I managed to get a confirmed ticket on Second Sitting, which is the second class sitting compartment – reserved. The train starts at 1530 hrs and it was not crowded at all. But when the clock struck 1525, there was a huge gust of people rushing in and occupying whatever seat they could find. This did not amaze me; well I have been traveling in trains for a long time now. But there is one another thing that is common in all train journeys.

 

The seat adjustment.

 

Consider a family of 4 or a large group of 6, since most of the time we book tickets at the last moment the seats would be allotted scattered. The first one hour after boarding the train would be spent by the leader (whom we can assume as the one who has the tickets and keeps on counting the seats and berths, shouting out his seat numbers, indirectly asking the people sitting or leaning on his reserved seat to MOVE) to move people (read other passengers) around the compartment so that he can get his group sit together.

 

A well dressed man approached me and said

“   “

“I am sorry??” I said and removed my ipod headphones.

 “Are you traveling alone?” he asked again. Smiling at the silliness.

“Yes” I said.

“Do you mind moving to another seat.”

“I don’t as long as there is one, Sure ! “ I said and picked my bag.

He directed me to another seat pretty much closer to mine.

 

He approached the old man sitting (or was sitting) next to me and asked the same question. And in a while the old man was with me in our newly allocated seats.

 

“Koncham adjust pannunke” (Please adjust a little) he said again and kept few of his luggage under our seats.

 

The adjustment.

 

I am a victim of seat adjustment every time I travel alone. They target the single travelers who fall easy prey to their questions. How do they identify that you are traveling alone?

If you are armed with a book and have head phones glued to your ears. You are traveling obviously alone.

 

I am okay with adjustments. It’s okay to move. It’s okay if the family wants to sit together.

But I get moved every time! Every single time!

Filed under: General, India , Railways, Train, Traveling

Palm Sunday

On Palm Sunday Jesus rode the donkey into Jerusalem and the crowd gathered around him, praising him and laying flowers and leaves on the road.

The disciples worshiped him and sang ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord. Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father, David.’  

 

(No I am not going to talk about Palm Sunday or the Biblical details).

Back to the story:

So the donkey thought that it was all for him. ‘Well I was just a donkey few minutes ago, now they are praising me and laying flowers on my path’. He thought.

His pride grew its roots in.

 

This is how many of our ‘God Men’ and priests think. They think the flocks respect them and praise them. They forget the detailed part where they are actually the messengers of God and people respect them for the God’s name they are carrying.

 

They are like the donkey.

Filed under: Religion , Christ, Christianity, God Men, Priest, Religion

The Pram

I bought my kid a pram or the stroller like some others call it. The chinese made pram (The only thing in the baby shop that were not chinese were the people) looked good, was good to hold and light weight. This one seemed ideal for our use (or rather for my son’s use) and we bought it, spending some good old dough on it.

The pram came with an instruction kit which was more interesting than the pram itself. I have tried taking few photographs of it to let you guys know that I am not making it up.

Here are few excerpts.

Honorific Customer :

Thank you very much to the trust and supports of the series product of our company, for the sake of your babyof safety, the usage invited you before careful reading manual, and appropriate preservation with have behind use.

(And only thing I could think of of was ‘what is behind use?’)

The warnings were even better :

1. The usage car set, please the car each parts of of earnest check whether the conjunction is tightly solid. ( I guess he used the MS word synonyms)
2. multipy by to put the baby, must right usage safety belt. Nurse the person can not leave.(OH MY GOD)
3. can not at low lying and damp, frustrated, the slope or dangerous districts use that car. (Roughly translated as it cannot be used by a frustrated parent on dangerous districts like Swat district in Pakistan)
4. This car pedestal is limited by a baby usage only. (Roughly translated as IT’S FOR ONE BABY ONLY)
5. Dont push the car set. Must chase the car wheel brake. (Something like If you push the stroller too much, you might as well chase the brake !)

   

   

   

   
   
   

    

    

Filed under: baby , baby, baby products

I Obey You Thy Indicom

My wife bought a new samsung cdma phone from a tataindicom store for her mother. Her mother has been using the same old Haier phone for the past 3 years. To our surprise the old sim did not work in the new cdma phone. The tata indicom executive was however not surprised.
“You have to get the MIN programmed at the nearest samsung service centre” He said.
WHAT?
I just bought a new phone and I have to go straight to the service centre.
And to add to the surprise (ours) the new sim that came along with the phone did not work with the old phone either.
So its like either we have to use the new connection (SIM) with the new phone or get it fixed.
“Its your choice” whispered TATA indicom in my ears.

I remember around 2 years back I used a tataindicom connection which had no sim, and when I approached a service centre to buy a new phone, they turned me down by saying that I should probably get a new connection as all the phones now come with SIM.
And now they have changed the SIM #1 to SIM #2. (I am not sure if they have SIM #1.1 and so on in b.w).

One more thing that really piss me off is the call they give me to my wife’s tataindicom cell (which is in my name by the way and I pay the bill as well ).
“Sir we have new offers” Voice
“Wow, what is it?” Me
“Buy a new tata indicom connection and get 1000 minutes free” Voice
“But I have a connection already, why would I NEED a new connection?” Me
“err, buy a new connection and get 1000 minutes free” Voice
“Are you out of your mind?. Shouldn’t you be calling me, if you have offers for the same connection I am CURRENTLY USING???” Me
Click.

But they atleast acknowledge that I am a tataindicom customer. I use a vodafone cell, read this one :
<<>>
Me “Hello”
Voice “Sir, I am calling from vodafone, Do you have a prepaid or postpaid connection?”
Me : “Where did you say you are calling from?”
Voice : “Vodafone sir”
Me : “Then you should be telling me”
Voice : “err” Click.
<<>>

Back to tataindicom.
 6 new phones & 4 different service providers later, for the first time in my life, I took my latest samsung phone directly to a service centre !!!!!!!!

I guess tataindicom always expect the customer to buy new connections and get rid of your old number, mobile, sim, the guarantee card and other crap that comes along with it etc etc to thrash. As a customer I would rather throw all that away and get a new connection from………Vo…..Air………….Reli……..Spi……Ide………..

oops, I will just do what ever you say sir.

Filed under: Mobiles, Technology

‘Call In’ Rama Sena

 

Yesterday in Channel 9 (which is a Bangalore based English news channel) was featuring a call-in program where the viewers could ask questions to a gentleman from Sri Ramasena.

 

Caller #1 “Why are you saying that we should not celebrate Valentines Day?”

Gentleman “Why do you want to celebrate love on only one day? Why can’t you celebrate 365 days?”

Caller #1 “Why do we then sir celebrate Independence Day on one day?”

Gentleman visibly pissed off! “What are you taaking man, that is what we are say ,  we need to celebrate all day. Why are we celebrating one day?”

Caller #1 verbally confused hangs up.

 

Caller #2 “Sir, what is your definition of Indian culture”

Gentleman “Respecting Indian culture is Indian culture. Not pub culture. Indian culture is respect”

Caller #2 “Okay, so do you think beating up girls is Indian culture?”

Gentleman “What are you talking? We apolized ! WE APOLIZED ! So what are you saying madam. What you saying? WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

Caller #2 “You say you are a social worker, don’t you think there are much more important issues to handle than silly issues like Valentines Day?”

Gentleman “We are helping people, the other day a man took a girl and stayed for 2 months. Our sevaks married that girl after wards. We are doing social work!”

Caller #2 did not have words, I can’t blame her.

 

 

Caller #3 an elderly gentleman in his 50’s “Who do you think you are to control our girls?. WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?? …….”

Gentleman from sena “ WHO DO YOU THINK ….”

Caller #3 “WHO DO ….”

Gentleman “MIND YOUR LANG….”

And it went on and on.

 

I guess this program was recorded as the phone number to call them was not displayed on the screen.

If I had a chance I would have called them and my conversation would go like this.

 

Me “Hi I am from Bangalore, I have a question”

Gentleman from sena “Go ahead ask me”

Me “Not for you sir, for the channel and the producers of this show”

Gentleman “??”

Me “ Why do you want to air something of this irrelevance and put a man who claims himself as the moral god on the show who talk nothing to talk but bullshit?”

Gentleman “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU……………”

 

 

 

 

Note: The typos in this post was intentional. 

 

 

 

Filed under: bangalore , Bullshit, Channels, RamSena

I code, blog and change diapers at the same time.

Well, not exactly. I am a new dad now. Well like all new dad’s it takes a while to settle into the fact that you have a kid now. He makes sure that I realize it faster. He cries harder.

My team at work gifted me (or rather my newborn) with a Baby Rocker. I was not sure on what it was. I never had one, neither have I seen one. “The instructions are inside the box on how to fix it” said my colleague.

My curiosity on how it work( more importantly on how much it cost) increased. I still don’t understand why people cut off the price on gifts, I mean they could have made me happier by saying that it cost XX RS !

I stopped at a nearest baby shop to find that out the price myself. This day would be marked as the ‘first day to enter a baby shop’ in my life.

“Sir, how can I help you’ asked the salesman.

“well err…”

“Diapers, nappy pads, teether, nail cutters………………………………” he continued for a minute.

What???? I thought so many things for my tiny baby?

“Well you know 10 days old..show me the nail cutter” It just dawned to me his nails were getting bigger.

The salesman showed me complicated nail cutters I have never seen in my life, which even had instructions on how to use it.

‘How much???” I asked

“250 Sir”

???

Baby products are sure expensive, well you wouldn’t want the least expensive one for your baby. You would get everything you can. And the manufacturers know it !

As I walked out of the door with a couple of diapers, nappy pads, nail cutter, musical box etc I glanced at the Baby rocker box.

When I was a small kid, my rocker was a human being,my mom..Back home he is rocking on a battery operated 3.5K rocker.

Next item on the list, pram.

(When he grows older, I got plans to use the rocker as a head massager, well I would need it !)

Filed under: baby , baby, baby products

_Drunk &Drive

One of our family friend was stopped by police on his way back from a party. He was drunk and the police charged him for driving under influence. The police man was so generous and kind that he allowed our family friend to drive back home.

At the court our family friend challenged the policeman’s claims that he was drunk.

“If I was driving under influence, then why did the policeman let me drive the car again? Either I should have be arrested or the car confiscated”

The court accepted his claim and let the man go free of any charges.

The policeman would be still wondering what he did wrong.

Well, this is not to praise his ignorance of law(driving under influence) and escaping from law(false claims at the court), but to let people know on how ignorant our policemen are. They do their job partially and never to the fullest.

If they want to charge a person they should be DOING IT not allowing the accused to find any loopholes with the system.

The New Year’s eve and the New Year’s day I found many cars running in zig zags, predictably drunk ! I wondered where the policemen were.

Happy New year everyone !!

Filed under: General , Drunken Driving