Power outage and Me.

 

Since our home in Kerala is in the middle of a thottam (roughly translated as in the middle of nowhere or rubber plantation), we have frequent power outage. Either a silly rubber tree would fall on the lines snapping it or the Electricity board will switch off power if there is heavy rain and thunder(and in Kerala we have 8 months of rain, where 3 months its continuous). So you can imagine how much time is left to have full time electricity supply. No you can’t, because during the summer season, since the water level is low at dams, we have load shedding during nights. On a good day they shed load for 30 minutes in our area which is, well not bad.

But sometimes it gets worse when the KSEB employee forget to switch it back on and then we have to get an influential person, which happens to be my neighbor who is also in the police to call them (names) and request(threaten) to turn it back on.

 

Once I got a job and moved out, I used to visit my home only twice a month, and that’s when I get frustrated with the frequent power cuts. My dad used to make fun of me, saying that I bring ill luck, because it’s only when I come for visiting the power cuts happen. Rest of the days they do have UPS (Uninterrupted Power Supply).

 

I think he is right, because somedays when I press the calling button or when I come closer to it, I can see the lights going off inside! Yes it’s another power cut. Sometimes when I call my parents over the phone, the power goes off at their place.

It’s got to be me. I am ill luck as far as the Kerala State Electricity Board is concerned.

 

My brother also agrees with my Dad on this. He says it’s me. If I stop visiting on weekends, may be he can enjoy his cup of chai with a movie. If I come home, he can just enjoy the chai with no movie.

 

During rainy seasons it okay as the weather is cooler, but during the summer, without power is like hell. Its difficult to sleep in a sweaty bed and everyone curse me for coming home ! L

 

And I believed them.

 

Once my brother came to Bangalore for a visit. We went out for shopping the whole day, and when we were shopping at THE FORUM, the power went off at the Shopping mall. My wife recalled how the power at Spencer Mall in Chennai went off when we visited there once.

 

When we came back the power was out at our place.

That was the first time since I came to Bangalore the power was out for such a long time. I cursed myself. Or is it our combination, me and my brother that bring ill luck to the BESCOM (or Bangalore Electricity company) ? He insists it’s still me. I did not try changing his mind; well all odds were against me.

 

That’s when he went to the US. His week at the hotel went smooth and I occasionally call him over google talk or voip.

Yesterday I called him over voip and the line was not connecting. Funny,I thought and send him an email instead.

 

This is the reply I got.

 

“The power was out here for the entire day, some truck hit the power station at the hotel and they took all day to fix it, the phone lines were out too”

 

Either it’s me or it’s the combination.

 

Or is it him? J I would love to believe its him.

Kismat Disconnection and Janee Tu

I know am a little late in writing this post, well someone said I can’t write a review unless I  watch the movie!

 

I finally managed to watch both the flicks running in theatres now. Let me go with the worst one first, “Kismat Konnection” . This seemed like Kismat Disconnection to me, the plot was rather simple and can be easily guessed on what’s going to happen, including the climax.

 

The love story is age old bollywood style, where the girl is getting married to someone else who also happens to be a flirt and have an affair as well. I think such stories are far too common.

 

We know what Shahid is going to do and what Vidya is upto as well. 30 minutes in the movie and you can guess on what’s going to happen. Well it’s not a suspense thriller of any sort, but still I would consider the plot far too plain.

The execution was even worse.

 

 

The second one was Janne Tu Ya Janne Na. Wah! Finally something to entertain, although I am not too happy with the plot, I would say it’s not just another Bollywood movie. Its different, the storyline is entertaining and you give less attention to your popcorn, which itself is a good thing. The music as you guys know is great, Kabhi Kabhi Aditi  being the best one.

The story is simple with similar plot as ‘Kismat Connection’ where the girl is going to get married to a guy who also happens to be a flirt etc etc. But there were more layers to it. The execution was excellent.

 

Please Strip OFF You Political Wardrobe

 

The bombs went off, people died, many were wounded. Many lives were torn. People panicked. People still live in these cities with fear.

When I drive through Madiwala, and Residency road, I think about the people who were affected on Friday. When I take the newspaper I see dead bodies.

When our vehicles are checked at every mall and office, I know we are panicking.

And you want to blame someone else for all this? What conspiracy are you talking about?

These are terrorist’s madam.

WAKE UP !

Your logic of BJP ruled states under terror is absurd !

We are people here, we don’t care who rules in the centre or the state. We are human beings living down here.

 

Don’t try to run away from your responsibility by issuing silly STUPID comments. Can’t you guys just strip off your political wardrobe and turn into human beings?

Just SHUT UP if you can’t help.

 

 

 

 

 

Angel With An Energy Drink

“zzzzzz”

It was tiring boring day at work. I was sleepy, and was finding it difficult to keep my eyes open. My head did not hit the desk, thanks to my Dell Monitor. However coke was already flowing through the number keys. This did wake me up; I have a keyboard with canals of coke now. I checked if anyone is watching and slowly laid paper tissues on my keyboard. My keyboard looked just like an Indian Clothesline. Things just did not go bad, but got worse. My system was not responding. Oh yeah the coke is still left in between the keys. I disconnected the keyboard and tried to drain out the liquid. Now I have a sticky desk with coke and soaked tissues. Thankfully everyone is busy working.

 

I cleared the mess in five minutes and I badly needed a break.

The trip to cafeteria was great ! Thanks to the power cuts and diesel shortage in Bangalore, the lifts were not switched ON. The notice read “We are on a power saver mode, Please use the stairs”

 

The cafeteria was buzzing with people; I have not seen this many people working on our floors, where are they coming from? Do they work with me?

 

“Good evening sir, please try this non-alcoholic energy drink” said a sweet girl.

“wahht?”

“Energy drink sir, this will increase your alertness and make you more productive”

“waaah” I said, just what I wanted. I thanked god for sending this angel.

 

 “How much?” I asked?

“Its complimentary sir”

FREE !! Things were indeed getting better, not just that I got an ‘energy drink’ just in time, it was free and a beautiful girl to serve.

 

Gulp Gulp.

 

“I feel gooooood. “

 

Back at my desk, the system started working.

But its time to go home now.  ciao.

 

PS : The energy drink is indeed working, I managed to make a post out of it.

 

A Garage And The Land Lady.

You guys might be knowing how I like my landlady. She is sweet, loving, caring, and concerned. She love her tenants just like the way she love her kids..

 

I won’t say the above words even if I am drunk !!!!

 

Now to the point, we have been her tenants for almost an year now. The place rented out to us still looks fresh, neat and tidy. The rent was given without delay on 1^st of every month. The electrical items are all intact. The place is still the same way she rented out to us.

 

When moving in we had this conversation.

Me : Where will I put my bike?

LL (landlady) : You can put it outside, see how all the cars, bikes are kept outside.

Me : What about the basement parking? Seems like its empty.

LL : Yes, but I have given it on rent.

Me : Oh, then I will park outside.

 

Even after 6 months, I have never seen any human/alien/animal/unnatural being parking his/her/its car/bike/scooter/UFO in the basement.

 

Now that I bought a car (this is another way of letting you guys know that I bought a car, I am clever ) I don’t have any place to park it.

 

So I took my tactics on to please her with a packet of sweets.

Me : Aunty I bought a car. Here are some sweets.

LL : Oh congratulations…

Me : I am wondering where I will park

LL : You can park outside, see how a new Ford Fiesta is parked outside. Eveyrone is parking outside nothing will happen.

Me : Can I use the basement parking. I have not seen anyone using it.

LL : Oh no son, I just remembered we are also buying a car soon.

Me : Which one?

LL : Alto

Me : Which color?

LL : Black

Me : When?

LL : Next week.

 

After a week.

Afterseeing my brand new car out in the sun, in the rain, I was hurt and decided to ask again.

 

Me : Aunty can I put the car in till you guys get a car.

LL : Oh no son, we have lot of stuff in there, there wont be much space in to fit a car.

Me : No, that’s not an issue, I can move the items.

LL : I just remembered we will be taking that item in and out, you don’t want to scratch the car do you?

Me : I can put the car outside when you take stuff.

LL : hmmm.

Me : I can pay an extra rent if you want, if its reasonable.

 

LL’s face brightened, her eyes shined.

LL : let me talk to uncle.

Me : sure and please let me know.

 

I am sure she will come up with some exorbitant rent for the parking space. I was thinking of my previous landlord in Trivandrum. When my brother bought his car, the landlord offered

“I don’t have a car yet, you can put the car in the garage”

 

Now that is reasonable. 

Update : I bought a Chevy spark LS, white. Now I can add my share to pollution.

 

How to topple a government? By An Idiotician.

How to topple a government?

By An Idiotician.

Important notice : You can use this against your own government, your people and more importantly against your country.

1. The best part of toppling a government is the crores of money we lose when we have to go for elections ahead of schedule. What the hell, its tax payers fund anyway.

2. Another good part is the coverage we get on TV. Wow I can say this, that and everyone will come around with microphones asking about something, errr Nuclear Deal what was that? I always reply that ‘Its against the interest of the country’ hehe, well its against my interest, I mean who cares about the country?

3. Now for the toppling part, lets get all our MPs from Jail first. Wait a minute, one of us is in Jail for murder. No problems, we can get him on bail for the confidence vote, or is there a Vote from Jail option? I will start that provision once our government comes to power.

4. What he is sick? Bring him down in an Ambulance… What??? he is abroad on a surgery? Get an AIR AMBULANCE. This is national emergency, we need to get the government down.

5. What? Economy will suffer? Dear, I have plenty at my wife’s estate house. She has hidden it deep under. So much for economy.

6. Inflation? What is that?

7. Get every friend, foe anything which walks on 2 legs to support us.

This idiotician wanted total anonymity when he gave the above 7 points. I think he deserves it as he was very honest in what he said above.

Meetings on Roads?.

 

Common people (excluding policemen, politicians, their supporters) are the ones who are tortured, chased around and deprived of basic rights. One of the basic rights would be to take your tax paid-insurance updated car on the NH and drive to your destination.

But the people in brackets make sure that this wont be an easy ride.

 

I have seen many times that National Highways being blocked for meetings, processions by political party. The police does their part in favor of everyone else other than the common man, may be because they are helpless too. The traffic is diverted to some smaller roads which get blocked in a few minutes.  Now my question is why the hell am I diverted because some Idio-ticians has to meet on the road. I think those idio-ticians should be held for jaywalking. I would be fuming in the car(not mine !) even though the ac is running, helpless just because some idio-tician want to save the country(read save his A$$pirations and fill up his pocket).

 

 

The Brand Tag

Rekha and Vishesh tagged me to do the Brand tag. I managed to google out some of the brands I use everyday, I know I missed many.  The pictures are from the company sites. So companies, consider this as a free ad and you can pay me if you like or hire me as your brand ambassador.

I am not tagging anyone.   Update :  Since everyone has a doubt on where exactly all these brands apply to, let me explain.

I use colgate toothpaste. Hindware .. I have two mobile phones (Nokia and Motorola). I read The Hindu sipping bru every day morning resting on my featherlite bean bag. I check my email using hathway internet connection on my compaq laptop. I use openoffice to write my blog posts and post them on wordpress. I watch my favorite movies on my Philips DVD player and my samsung TV. I have connected my Creative Speakers to the DVD player for extra sound effects.

I wear my Nike (or Adidas) shoe to work along with a pair of Lee (or Levis or Pepe)  blue jeans and an Adidas t-shirt (or levis).. I try to smell good with Axe.

The company TATA car picks me up  from my home place. I take cup of coke from the vending machine once I reach office. I arm myself with a POLO after lunch. I logon to my windows Dell computer with Logitech keyboard and mouse. I use Nortel Networks phone on my desk. I read The Economist at the pantry. I take my bajaj Pulsar in the evening for a ride.

Waiters

Once I walked into a restaurant in Trivandrum.

Waiter : Poricha Kozhi, Chappati.. (Chicken fry and Chappati)

Me : What else.. is available

Waiter : Chappati Beef fry, curry

Me : And?

Waiter : Egg curry, roast

Me : Aint there any vegetable curry

On this, the waiter gave a blank look and said “YES”.

Me : 2 chappatis and One veg curry

Waiter gave me the blank LOOK and hurried to the kitchen. I wondered if I did something wrong. Somehow, the non-veg hotels don’t like serving vegetarian especially in Kerala.

After 4 minutes he came back with a plate of chappati and veg curry. I quickly gulped down the chappati. I was still hungry.

Me : One more chappati, please

Waiter : okay

He bought me one chappati, I was still hungry. I asked for one more. The waiter obeyed.

I was still hungry and he asked for one more, (You wont blame me, if you would have seen the size of those chappati’s). On this the waiter frowned and said

“Look you can’t keep asking for ‘one one’ chappatis. If you need more you should tell me now, I can’t go the kitchen every time. !!!”

Now the question is, did I do anything wrong? I was surprised at this answer because as far as I know the hotel is in service business and HIS job is to get to the kitchen and bring the food. I am paying for it as well. It’s not just me, Reema hate rude waiters too.

A colleague of mine went for breakfast at a hotel in Chennai. He ordered Masala Dosa’. The order was served in banana leaf within 5 minutes. After the tasty meal, he wanted one more. He ordered for one and requested the waiter to change the leaf.

Waiter : No we can’t do that

Colleague : why?

Waiter : One person one leaf

Colleague : But this leaf is torn and I want a new leaf as I ordered one more dosa.

Waiter : we cant do that.

Colleague :I want to see the supervisor.

Supervisor : No sir we cant do that.

Colleague : Okay then cancel my order and give me the bill.

The leaf was taken away and he was given the bill for one masala dosa. After paying the bill, my colleague walked to another table and sat there and said.

“One masala dosa please…………..” and he got the new leaf.

Cell Story

 

It was a normal day at our Gent’s hostel. BK, my room mate was undergoing his version of bathing at our common restroom to get rid of the dirt accumulated on his body after a football match.

T and myself were sitting idle, bored to the core in our room. Our cells (mobiles I mean) were laid across on the table. BK’s 3310 rang. T and I checked the number, it was a not in BK’s address book so we decided not to take the call.

The phone rang again.

We did not bother.

It rang again.

T took the phone and nodded as he listed to the caller.

T : Yes.

10 seconds

T : Yes I will hand over to him.

And T handed the phone to me.

 

I was like WHAT? Is it someone I know?

 

Me: hello?

Caller : Sir I am R, hope you remember me.

Me : Nah I don’t. I am……..

Caller : Sir, I don’t have much time, its serious issue now. Its time we act.

Me: aha?

Caller : Mr K is creating much issues. He thinks he is boss. Its time we get our people together and act against him.

Me : oh? (what the hell is he talking about? I thought)

Me : But I….

Caller : Sir like I said we are arranging a meeting with protest rally tomorrow near the office.

 

Maybe it was time to be funny or just play along. This guy surely got the number wrong. And we were in college, so it was indeed an opportunity to have some fun.

 

Me : Okay. Let discuss tomorrow. So the meeting is near the office?

Caller : Yes. There will be 30 of us.

Me : Cool. That is good enough. Now will you send a car?

After 10 seconds of silence

Caller : oh ! For? what sir?

Me : Well you have to send me a car. If you want me to come !

Caller : well sir, I will try to arrange one.

I wondered what the caller would be thinking now.

Me : And what’s the agenda?

Caller : Well we want you to talk sir.

Me : I mean after the meeting.

Caller : Well we will protest and then…… leave?

Me : I want food……. Biriyani.

20 seconds.

Me : You there?

Caller : Sir?

Me : Yes

Caller : Well sir, we were actually….

Me : Will you arrange biriyani or you wont?

Caller : SIR!

Me : YES!

Caller : I… er. Could… Yes sir I will try.

Me : So call me back once you arrange my pickup and biriyani.

Caller : Err. Oh……. Okay…… Sir.

Me : Bye Then.

Beep.

 

T and I rolled out with laughter. We repeated the caller’s disgust and laughed.

BK, minus all the dirt, entered the room. Seeing us laughing he asked what happened. As I was not making any sense, T explained the entire story. BK joined and we laughed for the next 10 minutes repeating the caller’s surprise and confusion.

BK: Whom do you said the caller wanted?

T : George

And T laughed.

BK: Who?

T : George hahahahaha.

BK : GEORGE? MAN ()@*#()@*#()@*#()

T and Me : ????

 

BK : He is my uncle, he was using this SIM before he switched the service provider. This would have been an important call.

T and I were… err, speechless and didn’t know what to say.

BK was in rage. T tried to escape out the window, but couldn’t, so decided to look out the window instead.

BK : What did you guys do?. oh MAN !!!

Me : Well the damage is done, its better to leave it.

BK : No I have to call my uncle and also apologize to the caller.

 

I managed to get out of room and escape. T followed.

 

Epilogue.

Later when BK was back to normal and was at peace, we learned that his uncle gave him a lecture on how to take calls. The caller bashed him with abuses on how the youngsters take things lightly.

BK was in rage for 2 days and wanted to beat us up. But then we were in hiding.

 

P.S : I feel sad about the caller whose time we wasted on this stupid prank and BK, who got all the bashing. But then, when I think about it years later, it’s worth a laugh.