THE CRAPBOOK

Like any other law abiding citizen my wife stopped the car at  the red signal. Five seconds went by silently when there was a loud thud and our car zoomed forward. It took us a minute to realize what happened. 

Rewind.

We stopped at a red signal where the counter was at 27 seconds. The bus which was way behind us did not however stop. He simply crashed into us.

I checked if everyone was fine my kid and brother who was sitting in the back seat. Everyone was fine. Wife was shocked, but fine.

I got out of the car to check the damage the crash caused. To my dismay my back windshield was broken, the rear lights and the bumper was broken. I took some snaps with my phone.

I walked to the bus driver and asked

“Enna chetta” What happened brother?

“Brake kittiyilla”  I applied brake but the bus did not stop.

I took a snap of him and the vehicle number. It was a KSRTC. The conductor came to me and said “It was not red, why did you stop suddenly?”.

“It was red” I replied.

“No it wasnt” he said.

“Are you the driver?” I asked.  “Let the driver speak. How would you know?” I said.

“Chechi alle odichathu”  Its the lady who was driving right?.

“SO? She has a driving license. Moreover you crashed in from behind. “

I dialled 100. To my surprise it was ringing and someone lifted the handset after 10 rings. Good enough I thought.

“Sir, a bus just crashed into my vehicle at the Manorama Junction” I explained.

“Is there a traffic block?” He asked.

“No there isn’t” I replied.

“Move the car to a side and DONT cause any blocks” He asserted.

“Okay” I replied. “Would someone come down here?” I asked.

“Yes someone would be there in a minute” He said. “Okay” I said.

I was about to hang up when he asked “Wait a min, is anyone hurt?” he asked.

“No we are all fine”

Click.

At least he asked.  I thought.

Next I called my dad and told him what just happened.

He asked ” Are you all fine?”

The rest of the day went bargaining for an out of court settlement and things along with others pitching in to comment on the incident, people who weren’t even there. People commenting on me taking photographs of the car and the driver.  People looking at the car and the commenting “The signal was not red !”.  “Payyan car ayittu irangiyekkuva. Entha cheyya.” . The young lad took the car for a spin, what else to expect?, an autodriver volunteering to become our witness. No, he was not there at the time of incident.

There is an old saying in malayalam 

“Arandade ammekku brandhu pidichapol kanan entha shelam” roughly (rudely) translated as “If someone else’s mother is running around crazy, its fun to watch.”

It’s a lovely day. I woke up in the morning, got ready for work, drove my car out from the garage and parked it near the garden. I took the garden hose and started filling up the fuel tank with…………..WATER !

Now you guys might be wondering what I am talking about. Well, I am talking future here, Japanese Company Genepax has come up with a car that will run on water. Yes W.A.T.E.R.

H2O guys !!!!!

So my dream future is gonna be something like what I mentioned above. Well not exactly because I might have to use distilled water, which by the way is cheap now, but once it’s the fuel it will be taxed at 100% + state tax + local tax + cess +…….

 !!!!

I think I should stop dreaming

 “World’s cheapest car upsets environmentalists”… Okay. What doesn’t upset them?  The middle class family dream is here. But then it upsets the environmentalists. But I don’t think we should care.  Take a look at the carbon dioxide emissions around the world http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_pollution#Geographic_areas_affected_by_air_pollution

Total carbon dioxide emissions

10⁶ Tons of CO₂ per year:

• United States: 2,790
• China: 2,680
• Russia: 661
• India: 583
• Japan: 400
• Germany: 356
• Australia: 226
• South Africa: 222
• United Kingdom: 212
• South Korea: 185

So if our middle class is all set to roll out their small, affordable car, let them. 

Mr Environmentalist, The car is not for sale yet. Lets wait till the car hit the stores… then on the roads and see how the above figure is going to change drastically. If it does, I will update this post.   Thanks