This is not to debate on the pros and cons of love and arranged marriage!Neither is this post to highlight the pros in love marriage.
I’ve asked my dad for his secret in a successful marriage. His like many others around, was an arranged one. He couldn’t answer it clearly or to my satisfaction.
Often I hear people talking about failing relationships, which were love marriages. They talk high on arranged marriages.Why not, coz it’s like a domineering relationship, with the husband always taking the decisions on almost everything. From the toothpaste they buy to the dress his wife is going to wear. The wife obeys the husband. (Hey that’s what a girl is supposed to do!, I can hear someone saying that). They accept it. They never question the decision taken by the husband. How can such a relationship fail?
I don’t get the whole point. The girl is dressed in silk. She is bought in front of the boy’s relatives. They question her. Tells her to go back to her room. The elders discuss. Nowadays the boy is allowed to talk privately to the girl. Hmmm that’s a great change. I know a colleague who did not even see his prospective wife until after he turned to tie the knot.The elders bargain, discuss on the whole relationship. The boy’s parents discuss on how much they want and what they want. The girls’ parents discuss on how much they can give and what they can give. In other words dowry and I thought it was banned in this place.Wait a min, is the girl being sold? Is this like a bull being sold in the market for meat? Or is this prostitution in broad daylight?
A proposal came up for a friend (female) of mine. The guy was a Software engineer working in Bangalore and from a pretty good family. They liked her and wanted to proceed. Her father settled with a good ‘deal’ and there she was in cloud no 9. They started talking on the phone. He even came to her work place to meet her once. It was love after parents consent.
But one fine day it turned out that they wanted to drop the proposal. The guy’s parents wanted more money. But my friend’s dad was not agreeing to their new demands. They dropped the proposal. He did not call her again.
And I thought dowry was illegal.
I know people don’t really agree to all this, they just accept it. They don’t think over it. It’s like a routine for them. By age of 20 for gals or even less than 18, the parents begin their search to get her daughter married off.
I don’t get it. Can somebody explain?