The Wife Part II

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaam’

No that might be the background score in my nightmare.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaam’

No this is real. I opened my eyes and found myself lying in my bed room.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaam’

It’s from the kitchen…. I ran to the kitchen to find my wife screaming.

“What is it?” I asked gasping.

“LIZAAAARDD” She screamed.

“Whew” I sighed with relief.

Wife “What whew??? Chase it away !!”  and handed me the broom.

Me “Nooo. I don’t want to start my day chasing a lizard !!”

Wife “???”

Me “Okay give me the broom”

What happened next can be better explained with chaos theory. I was proving Jacques Hadamard, right in my living room (I got this name from wikipedia). I chased it right out of the kitchen to the living room, to the bedroom, back to the living room and to the space under the refrigerator.  Getting it out of the refrigerator was a task, I analyzed my chances of getting it out of the space and chasing it out through the front door. I knew the only thing that is going to help me is the broom.

Amid my wife’s screams and my tactical move of the broom, I finally managed to chase it out from ‘under the refrigerator’ to the front door.

“OPEN the FRONT DOOR” I screamed.

 My wife ran to open the front door. I was about to give the lizard a ‘golf shot’ (the one Tiger woods did in the Accenture ad…. Give me a break I don’t know a thing about golf, but I do know how to hit a lizard with a broom!!)

The door opened, I took the shot, the lizard flies out through my front door…my wife screams again and the next thing I see is my landlord watching us with fear in her eyes. (Well I don’t know what people might think, when they see the husband holding a broom and the wife screaming).

Thank God she dint call the police.

You can find Part I here.


  1. Abhishek · · Reply

    GR88 man …… atleast by now u know how to play golf with lizard……. the last line wid “the husband holding a broom and the wife screaming ” was awesome

  2. Hahah…hilarious…
    U reminded me of several incidents at my own place with all such lizards, cockroaches,rats..Once a bat came inside through open window .Imagine the chaos and the screaming of mom ,sis and me..Thank god dad was there !!!

  3. @Nitin.
    Hey I got inpired from ur post to write my own version of ‘Pest in the house’

  4. rofl.. that must have been one hell of a funny scene!! a tip…don’t pick up a lizard with your hand.. its the most squirmy feeling ever 😛

  5. @Sreejith..
    OMG !! you have done that?
    is it worse than handling a millipede?

  6. you mean those crawling atta’s that you can find all over the place in kerala? the ones that curl up when u touch them! no way!

  7. […] Rent, What the ???? Tags: Humor, Life, Misc, Pest control, Pests, What the ????, Wife After the incident of pest attack we thought of calling in the experts. The pests including cockroaches were almost […]

  8. ROFLMAO =)) Hilarious post!! Poor wifey. I totally sympathize with her.

  9. @Ruhi

    Thanx. LOL. We still have a good laugh thinking about this.

  10. that was really hilarious !! this much noise coz of a tiny lizard ..shame! shame!
    well its true that it really an adventure to get rid of creatures you hate! 😀

  11. that was really hilarious !! this much noise coz of a tiny lizard ..shame! shame!
    well its true that itz really an adventure to get rid of creatures you hate! 😀

  12. rekha,
    😀 haha.

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